Should You Pick out Your Own Wedding Ring and Band? The Picky Bride’s Guide

wedding ring and bride and groom

As you close your eyes at night, you can picture it. You see your beloved gazing into your eyes. Getting down on one knee. Pledging to love you forever. Finally, they take out the ring…and it’s hideous.

So many women dream of the perfect proposal but are terrified that their soon-to-be fiance will pick out a ring they don’t like. Your wedding ring set isn’t exactly a gift you can respond to with, “Oh wow, look at that,” and toss into your closet.

If you know what you like and dislike when it comes to ring styles, should you pick out your own ring? Here’s what you need to know.

Tips for Picking Out Your Own Wedding Ring Set

There’s no better way to ensure you’ll love your ring than picking it out yourself. For some couples, though, that can be a sensitive subject. Here’s how to make ring shopping an experience that helps you bond before your wedding instead of making you fight.

1. Talk to Your Partner in Advance

On sitcoms, it makes for great entertainment when one partner keeps secrets from the other because they don’t want to hurt their feelings. In real life, it can open you up to serious problems.

If you want to find your own wedding ring set, the first step is to have a frank discussion with your partner. Assure them that it’s not a matter of you lacking confidence in their taste. It’s a practical way to make sure you’ll love your finger bling as much as your marriage.

Yes, this could be an awkward conversation to start. You’re worried about hurting your partner’s feelings. In truth, though, honest communication is one of the most vital parts of a marriage. Consider it good practice.

In fact, you might be pleasantly surprised. Chances are that your partner has some anxiety about finding a ring set you’ll love. They may be thrilled to have that pressure off their shoulders.

2. Set a Budget

Every relationship has a different arrangement when it comes to money. Chances are that if you’re not married, your finances are separate from your partner’s. That means you’ll be picking out a ring your partner’s money is paying for.

Before you set foot inside a jewelry store, talk to your partner about a budget. Don’t pressure them. You can find a style you love in any budget.

After your partner has set a budget, stick to it. Money is the top contributor to divorce, so you don’t want to start your marriage by overspending on your ring.

3. Do Your Homework

You don’t realize how many shapes, colors, and types of diamonds and settings there are until you start shopping. You walk into the store and after you recover from the overwhelming selection, you feel the need to try on 30 rings in varying styles.

Instead of making every jewelry store associate in town curse your name, do some research first. Read up on what the qualities to look for in a diamond. Learn the difference between a princess cut and a marquis cut.

Throughout the process, take notes on your favorites. Pinterest is a perfect way to track your ideas and the designs you like best. This will help you narrow your selection so that when you walk into a jewelry store, you have a starting point.

4. Shop Together

You might think it’s romantic for your partner to read your mind about your tastes and surprise you out of the blue. Unless you’re in an old-school Disney movie, that’s not a reasonable expectation.

What is romantic, however, is learning about each other and planning the start of your marriage together. That’s what you get when you and your partner shop together for wedding ring sets.

As an added bonus, your partner will learn more about your taste in jewelry. That sets you up for a marriage full of jewelry gifts that actually fit your style.

5. Shop Around

There’s a reason you’re leaning toward picking out your own wedding ring. You’re a picky gal who knows what she likes and what she wants. In that case, why settle for the first pretty wedding ring set you find?

If you’re picking out your own ring, you might as well take the time to see what’s available. Find out about the jewelry stores in your area that have options in your price range. In fact, there are more stores with budget-friendly options than you realize.

Make sure your soon-to-be-fiance knows that this is your strategy. Let them know that you want to take your time to find “your” ring set and that you want to make sure you both get the best you can for their money. 

6. Consider Customization

Speaking of widening your selection, don’t forget that a custom ring set is an option. You don’t need to settle for what you find in the store, especially if you know what you want.

People think “custom” always means “expensive.” In fact, you can get a custom ring for less than you think. Most of the cost will depend on the material you choose and the diamonds or other stones you select.

As you shop at different stores, talk to them about their customization process. Find out how much control you can have, whether you can critique and approve the design, and more. Find out about price ranges too and what you could expect to get in your budget.

Making the Surprise Even Better

Picking out your own wedding ring set isn’t the traditional method. For brides-to-be who don’t choose their rings, it’s often because they don’t want to spoil the surprise of the proposal.

When it comes down to it, the ring is a small part of the romance in your proposal. You can know you’re getting a ring you love and still be swept off your feet by your partner’s proposal.

The tips above can give you the best of both worlds: a proposal you love in the moment and a ring you’ll love forever. For more tips on fashion and beauty, check out our beauty blog.